Why I Don't Go to the Mall

In the past three years, I've been to the mall twice! Until Thursday.

Thursday I was in Murray waiting to pick up my Mom to take her home. She gave Kate some money to spend and suggested I go to Toys R Us to kill time and spend Kate's money. Toys R Us was closed so we went across the street to Fashion Place Mall. Kate LOVED the mall so much. We had a lovely time. We got our pictures taken in the photo booth. We bought candy from the quarter machines. Kate rode on the little kiddie rides and Kate picked out a huge, frilly tutu with the rest of her money from Grandma. And we went through all the girly, little-kid stores.
As we were on our way out, a man at a kiosk lured me in with a few questions. He started out with a half compliment--"When I see a pretty girl..." I was so disgusted, rolling my eyes, that I didn't hear how the rest of his line went. He asked if I had a minute and in the same breath he asked, "What do you use for your acne?" I felt myself shrink a few inches and the lines of my body began to blur. I should've run away. This has been my most sensitive subject since I was 14. When I told him what I was using he said, "Uh-huh, and it isn't working." This he said with a sympathetic tone that kept me interested but now I see it for the rude comment that it was. I shrunk some more. He held my hand and put some "wonder" product with minerals from the dead sea that he claimed could cure everything and have me acne-free in 2 weeks and this song & dance about how the product is guaranteed.
So I asked how much. $30 for a black bar of soap! gulp. And the special, anti-aging moisturizer that complimented it was $70. My eyes bulged. Sensing I was about to bolt he quipped, "If you buy the moisturizer, I'll give you the cleanser for free.
For real, that seemed reasonable to me. Acne makes a girl desperate. I'm grasping at anything. And when I hear, "guaranteed" then I feel this fluffy bubble cushion the hefty sticker price. I told him that my husband would surely kill me if I came home with a bar of soap a tiny tub of lotion for $70. He said with his thick French accent that I thought I was beginning to understand, "If you were my wife, anything, anything you needed. It would be yours." He schmoozed a bit more. Then he asked, "And what do you use for your dark circles?" By now I can't shrink anymore. I feel invisible yet the size of a billboard at the same time. Who tells a women she has acne, dark circles and then begins to point out her wrinkles around her eyes and on her forehead using a mega-magnified mirror with blaring bright lights? Who does that? Honestly!!!
So as he puts this eye serum on my face, the other lady working the kiosk gives Kate a mini manicure. So I relax a little. He asked personal questions: what I do for a living, what my husband does, if my husband owns his own business, then he asked, "How old are you, 33?" As if I could be any smaller--I'm four years from it! He put the mirror in front of me again and I was humiliated--looking at my reflection in front of him with his critical eyes.
Seeing Kate so happy with the nail kit he told me he would throw two nail kits in for free (regularly $20 each). He was offering me the facial cleansing bar (guaranteed to clear my acne in 2 weeks-reg $30), the anti-aging moisturizer (reg $70), 2 nail care kits (reg $40) all for the price of the itty-bitty bottle of eye serum that he guaranteed would improve the look of my wrinkles and minimize my dark circles. I choked when he told me the price of the eye serum=$200.
I was squirming. And he knew it. I reminded him that I couldn't spend that kind of money-why didn't I just run off? I reminded him about how unhappy my husband would be with the purchase and he had responses for every defense I gave. All I could see in my mind was how awful I must look. How dare I go around looking so awful. I asked, "You say it's guaranteed. So, if I don't like it or it doesn't work within a month or so like you say it will, I can bring it all back?" And he said, "Yes, of course, it's guaranteed." He even tried selling me more products and I finally stopped him and told him, "Enough."
I went through it all in my mind and I thought I had nothing to loose. I can try it and if it doesn't work, I can bring it back and get my money and try something else. If it does work then hurray. I can't believe I bought it. I can't believe I let that weasel get to me and make me feel so worthless. The next thing I know I'm out the door of the mall, headed for the car with thoughts whirling through my mind.
I picked my mom up and told her all about it on the way home. I was starting to panic about how I would tell Scott. Needless to say, it didn't go well. He was nice but I could tell he was adequately disappointed and about ready to take away all my shopping privileges for, like, ever! He gave me the option to keep it or return it but he was putting a "No Soliciting" sign on the door and asking me to be more careful about what I buy. So I plan to return it the next day.
When I went to the guy, he said, "No, you can only exchange the product." I said, "Excuse Me? You said it was guaranteed and I could return it if I wasn't satisfied." He raised his voice and assured me that he would never say that and that the policy is clearly listed on the receipt. I said, "Receipt! That's a little too late for a exchange/return policy!" The other lady working the kiosk pulled a 5 x 7 framed sign out from under a pile to the side of the register and hung it back up on the nail above the register. The sign read, "no returns, exchanges only" I was mad! That sign was not there when I came yesterday! He lead me to believe I could return the products. The two of them bantered in french to one another and. I filled out a form that the lady said she would submit to the owner and he would contact me in 3-5 business days. So, I have to cart my busy little girl to the mall a third time IF the owner/manager okays the return. Otherwise I'm out the money and stuck with the products-and I know every time I use them, I will think of how ugly, stupid, gullible, and worthless I am.
I really just had to get this off my mind. I am so irritated that I messed up so bad. What is wrong with me? This experiences has exposed to view so many weaknesses that I never realized I had. I don't know if I will ever feel safe to enter a mall again.

Pitapat

Pitapat is the most darling version of pitter-patter I've ever heard and I just found it today. Pitapat, pitapat, pitapat. Tell me if I'm crazy for loving that word.

Part of Speech: noun, slang

Definition: light walk

Synonymns: chatter, pad, pat, pelt, pitter-patter, rat-a-tat, rattle, scurry, scuttle, skip, tap, tiptoe, trip

I was thinking about how parents of grown children always talk about the pitter-patter of little feet with this far-off look of bliss. I know I will join that club someday. But today, I wanted to document, honestly, which of the synonymns of pitter-patter Kate exemplifies most.

Kate chatters, pats, and pelts, she scurries, and scuttles, she tries to skip but it's more of a gallop, she rarely tiptoes and most frequently trips. Kate doesn't do gentle, clean, quiet, or still with any degree of excellence. She is loud, messy-faced, dirty-clothed, and busy--and, of course, I wouldn't have her any other way.

Predictions for Suzie

We got together and made some predictions for Suzie, Todd & Cherish's baby. Cherish is due on February 25th. If you want to weigh in, go for it. If you want to tell me what the winner should get, that would be helpful.

Guesser Date time Weight Inches Hours Hair
J&K 2/20 morn 6lb 12oz 19 10 brown
Jeff 2/25 6lb 11oz 17 24 bald
Anna 2/24 morn 7 lb 5oz 20 9 dark
Scott 2/22 eve 9lb 21 8 brown
Julie 2/25 morn 7lb 3oz 20 8 blonde
G-ma 2/24 noon 6 lb 8 oz 19 10 blonde
G-pa 2/26 6pm 6lb 8 oz 21 12 brown
Todd 2/28 6lb 14oz 20 36 none
Cherish 3/1 eve 7lb 3 oz 19 16 brown
G-Gpa 2/23 early 6lb 15oz 17 1/2 11 orange
Whitney 2/19 morn 7lb 4oz 18 6 light

Just Stuff-No Fluff

So, I've been tagged a million times this week on facebook. It might take me forever to get them all done. I might never get them all done. I don't know how other people stay so connected. I haven't had anything bloggable happen in days and days. I'm starting to feel extra boring. I noticed a lot of friends posted about Valentine's day. We gave eachother cards and we gave Kate new Ariel and Cinderella characters because her old ones had parts missing. Kate can't keep their appendages on for very long. I'm sure it has something to do with the introduction of Snow White's Evil Step Mother.
Scott's been helping tons with dinner and dishes and I'm counting that as a gift. Monday he even told me he'd cook! I went in to help him by gettin pans out and when he told me to go relax I didn't know what to do with myself. He hasn't cooked in ages! His version of cooking is ordering pizza. But he actually made spaghetti. Plus, it's been nice to go to bed with the house clean. For a few months I would save the dishes for morning so we could all relax together but it's so much more fun to work together. Kate even pitches in and then it becomes a party.
I haven't been taking Kate's toys away for intentionally using her pants for a bathroom. It was getting too depressing. She had a really good lasts couple of days so that's encouraging.
Kate and I played "red light, green light" outside today with a neighbor friend. What a beautiful day we had. It was fun just to be outside after keeping myself shut-in for so long.
I started reading The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas. I like it. I don't have as much time as I used to now that Kate doesn't take a nap. It might take me forever to finish.
Well, I'll try to keep my eyes and ears open for good little moments to share.

Maybe I Should Leave These Things to Professionals

I really need to separate myself from my 15-year-old niece for a while. She comes over and I start doing irresponsible things (I still love you Sam). I got the scissors and one thing led to another. Pretty soon I took my little girl from this...

To this...

I can't tell you the knots I had in my stomach as Scott was pulling in from work. I knew he wasn't going to like it. He is such a fan of long hair. I pulled him aside to let him know that I cut her hair so that he wouldn't react the way I'm sure he wanted to. He was real sweet to her. I was feeling anxious and said, "I guess I got a little carried away." and he said, "Yeah, you did, She looks like a 'B'-'O'-'Y'"

I know the short and long hair thing will always be a struggle between Scott and I. At least Kate will grow up and make her own decisions so he can't be mad at me for what she does to her hair.

My Eeyore Report

"I'm just a little black cloud, hovering over a honey tree..."

My neighbor was in a car accident yesterday. She's only 20. She was driving to school when the roads were icy and her car spun and the patrol car driving a short distance behind her T-boned her car. She's in the hospital and luckily in stable condition. The emergency teams had to pry her car open. For souvenirs, she has three cracked ribs, a punctured lung, a bruised spleen, and a cracked pelvis. The doctor says it is at least three months recovery. Her aunt called us last night to let us know.

My daughter had all her Disney toys taken away for peeing all over the place yesterday (several different times). You should see all the dirty laundry. She's earned back half a dozen of them already.

My niece, Sam, never turned any of her assignments (3 assignments thus far in the term) in for her Biology class because they spilled out of her bag into her room. Her mother is a room Nazi so Sam shoved the loose papers onto a shelf so as not to alarm the warden (her mother). Then she completely forgot to put them back in her bag on the last day to turn them in.

I have like a million other things that I could say that are such big bummers (about other people of course). I don't have anything going wrong for myself that is worth mentioning, other than my bad attitude today. I should be focused on the parts of the clouds that are parting and sending down the suns rays, but I'm not. I guess I'm having one of those days. Oh, Bother.