Sometimes life feels like a battle to me. Like a war I fight with myself, always fighting. I fight to stay healthy and thin. I fight to keep myself strong in the gospel and firm on that narrow path. I fight to be happy and choose the positive side. I fight to be a better wife and mom than I was the day before. I fight to be careful with what I say to people around me - trying desperately to be more caring, more generous with others. It's war and it's ON.
Occasionally, when the fighting gets especially challenging and I feel like I'm losing ground - like victory is far and fleeting, I wonder if I fight too hard. Is all this really supposed to take this much work? Is it supposed to be a struggle? I wonder what would happen if I relaxed a bit. Would it all fall apart and would I be left on a slow road to complacency and regret? I don't know if I want to know what would happen if I let go of the fight.
I think I like to wage war and be brave and courageous every day. I think I like to push myself harder, forcing myself to improve incrementally. Some days the other side has won. Some days it's a draw. But each day the fight begins anew. Still I fight. My dukes are up. I'm ready to trudge, and to strive, and someday, in the end, win the war.
Who's with me?
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