My Four Addictions...

Tonight, some of the members of my neighborhood are organizing at the church for a seminar of sorts on addiction. They will be discussing the 12-step program that has been adapted by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to help people overcome harmful addictions including pornography, alcoholism, and drug abuse (prescription or otherwise).

People are invited to come learn what the program can offer and those who feel they have no addictions (are kidding themselves) can come and learn how the programs can help their friends.

This all made me think about what addictions I have. I decided that I have three that I can identify.
1. Chocolate
2. Exercise
3. Food
4. Gum chewing

I decided these addictions weren't at the point of being harmful, yet. I don't mean to make light of other people's addictions. I know what I have to say will come across that way. I recognize that addiction is real and that it is a huge trial for some people. I also see that I have the capacity for my seemingly harmless addictions to become harmful at any time if I allow them to take over my life. I recognize that it is a fine line that I could cross at any time. I think I keep a few addictions that are "safe" with the hope of preventing me from the more dangerous addictions. Maybe I'm way off on all this. But I'm really happy with my addictions and I don't plan to change them any time soon. If someone stages an intervention for me, I will rebel.

With chocolate, I'm like most chocoholics. I love it. I think about it several times a day - okay, hundreds. I crave it. I can't wait to have it. Once I've had some, it's hard to stop but lately I am really gaining ground and have the discipline to just have one piece. This has taken a lot of effort and I am extremely proud of this. I do slip once a week or so and go for seconds, thirds, and then I lick the plates of the children who didn't finish their rich, chocolaty treat (heaven forbid - the wasters). I get back on the wagon with great difficulty, until the next group function when chocolate is served. I seem to resist best alone. I think I must be more of a social indulger. During the day, when I have a planned treat, I watch the clock and countdown to the glorious moment when I can steal a few moments of bliss, just chocolate and me. Not just any chocolate will do. I go for the pricier chocolate. I gotta have Mrs. Cavanaugh's, See's, Lindt, or the like. I don't even bother with Hershey's or Nestle. Dove is okay. And with baked goods, I'm going for rich - dark chocolate brownies full of walnuts and chocolate chips, chocolate cheesecake with fudgey layers, chocolate mint cookies, dark chocolate cake bites, or something super decadent, something that is so rich you have to have a glass of milk to refresh your palette between bites. I make sure the conditions are perfect before taking that first bite. I close my eyes and allow the melty-chocolatey goodness to dissolve into pure satisfaction.

Exercise is an addiction I have had since I was a teenager. I have always had it as a part of my routine. Recently, I invested in a personal trainer for a six-month stint and reactivated my fire and zeal for intense exercise. Now that I am done working with a trainer, I joined a local gym and I am using the workouts my trainer gave me to keep the passion going. I think about my next workout during the day. When I go to bed at night, I get excited to wake up and go to the gym in the stillness of the morning, when everyone else in the house is asleep. I come home full of exhilaration and all those endorphins, or whatever chemical change happens, holds me through the rest of the day until I can get my next "fix". If I miss a day, I am grumpy.

Food, yes, I am a food addict. I think about food ALL DAY! This one is more than out of hand. I plan my meals carefully. I have to have perfect conditions: I must be sitting down, I must not be on the phone, the environment must be peaceful, I can't have anyone hovering over me or standing near me, And no touching me (no tapping me on the shoulder, no bumping my feet, no sitting close, etc - SPACE people - I need SPACE). I'm one of those people from the Carl's Junior commercial, "Don't bother me. I'm eating."

Yes, this is revealing. Yes, I realize I am neurotic. No! These are not things about myself that I'm proud of. No, I am not willing to change - although, I'm working on at least being pleasant if my crazy food conditions are not met.

Something I am doing to help with my addictions (chewing gum) has actually become a fourth addiction. I'm one of those pack-a-day girls. I chew two slices at a time. I'm going for designer gums like Extra brand strawberry shortcake, mint chocolate chip, sweet watermelon, rainbow sherbet, orange creme pop, apple pie, key lime pie, sweet tropical, and then all the mint and cinnamon varieties as well.

So, what are some of your addictions? I want to hear all about it.