Avert Despair and Eat the Cake too!

I was about to publish a big long rip-my-heart-out post about all that is weighing me down. I had stewed about it for the day and it was half typed--and then I baked with Kate. We put on our aprons and used the recipe Scott's mom sent home with him that he has been craving for months. How delightful it was to play in the kitchen with my most treasured friend. Cleanup was even fun with bubbles all over Kate's face and water all over the floor. I say Scott's mom saved the day today.

I never dreamed that was all it would take to pull myself out of my slump. I'm sure I will fall into it again and then you might get the full story, but right now I have enough light to journey along the dark road.

The American - 1907

Henry James 1843-1916

I just finished reading The American by this dear fellow pictured above. I had no idea what to expect but the title had me curious. The book is about an over-the-top wealthy American in Paris. Last night, when I closed the book, satisfied, and full of all that good stuff good reading does for the soul, I looked to my husband, who had been inhaling politics beside me. I gave him a gloss and he said, "I would have hated that book."

I guess I just like books (I should rephrase that, I like old books--contemporary books don't thrill me like the classics do).

So, I have my list of must read classics that I've been diving into since college and I think I'll stick with them until I'm done with the list. After that, we'll see.

My next book is Ethan Frome by Edith Wharton (loved Age of Innocence). I'm reading this one for my niece. She is not a reader and she's a sophy in high school. She comes to my house on the school bus every day and I thought if I read the same book she's reading, she'd have someone to talk to about it. My secret wish is to instill in her a passion for the classics and reading, but I'll settle for her just being open to them. I'm not betting on my success, but it's worth a try.

Just Words

I want to put some pictures from my trip to Island Park with my fam but until I get around to that...

I've been contemplating the line between life and death. It's always seemed like such a hard thing to do, to die. My Dad's Step-Father was put in the hospital recently and is now in a care center. He's 82 and for atleast twenty years, he has been preparing to die. His burial plots are purchased. His funeral plans are made. His life story is published, bound, and dispursed. He even has his obituary typed and ready for the paper. He has acted as if he was at death's door for the past ten years. Two months ago, he went for a routine procedure and as they wheeled him in to the operating room he told God, "God, this would be a great time to take me home." He expressed his dissappointment that he heard an audible voice kindly say, "No, John."

Three weeks ago, with the diagnosis of vascular dementia, he suddenly appeared as if he would have his wish. He couldn't eat or swallow and hadn't eaten anything in days. His body was frail and boney. The nursing staff told us he would go at any time. Two weeks later, a doctor asked if he would like a feeding tube and Grandpa said, "Yes." After a long surgery, he's nourished and getting stronger. When my mom and dad talked to him the other day, he said, "They never bring me any food?" My parents reminded him that he was given a feeding tube and he responded, "If I have one, I don't know about it. I'm so hungry...I want a piece of strawberry pie." Later he told my parents that he was going to fight this and get better.

I can't help but wonder, why? I want so badly to ask him, "Why fight something you've been asking for such a long time?" How odd. I'm sure he has his reasons. Many of us do this same thing. We beg for something for so long and when it finally comes, we want to take it back and have what we had all along.

I know this is a lot deeper than my usual "look at this cute thing Kate did" and "Here are some cute pics from our vacation" but maybe I'll need this someday. Maybe it will remind me to be more in the moment, not waiting for the end but enjoying the ride for what it is.

P.S. If you finished reading this whole post, you deserve a star.

Believe it or Not--Vernal Vacate

We just returned from a fun-filled-family vacation to Vernal. At different moments everyone in Scott's family questioned why we chose Vernal as our destination. But it really was fun just to be together and to give some of the newcomers (Kate, Ashlee, and Hailey) a chance to bond with everyone and everyone else a chance to reconnect.

Food is a theme in all of Scott's family vacations. We love it and our activities center around the main meals of the day. Unfortunately, Vernal was not the place for good food or good service. I didn't have a problem with any of my food but it became comical time and again to watch the city fail our family at dining out.

Here are some pics from the trip.

Here's Kate at Daniel's Summit

Jessica, Kate, Gary, Kathy, and Hailey

Kate, Ashlee, and Jessica

Everyone was surprised to learn at dinner the first night in Vernal that Todd and Cherish are expecting numero uno! Even more surprising, the I'm-never-having-kids Todd seemed happier than ever.

While the boys went--I guess you don't call it fishing when no one catches any fish--bobbing in the reservoir, we took the kids to the park, lunch at McDonald's, and the Dinosaur museum.

The third day we took a surprisingly scenic drive to Red Canyon Lodge and then the girls had manicures/pedicures and dinner while the kids hung out with the dads.

Here's Scott and Kate at Red Canyon lodge

Jason and Jeff fishing in the kiddy pool. I guess they were showing the kids how to fish but it was funny to see these men fishing next to the sign that said, "children 12 and under only."

We tried the paddle boats but Kate didn't last long and when we found out the steering mechanism wasn't working on ours, we jumped on canoes and had a grand time on the lake.

The fourth and final day, we went to church and walked around the Vernal temple.

Jeff, Anna, Jessica, and Ashlee had to head out but here's Gary and Kathy with Whitney, Zac, and Kate.

The cousins minus Jessica and Ashlee.

Scott's only sister Kristi with her family: Jason, Hailey, Whitney, and Zac.

Look close and you might see the Swallowtail butterflies Kate and Hailey are enamored with.

This was a special trip because it was Kate's first vacation with Scott's family. She was able to deepen her ties with her cousins, an uncle, and her Grandparents.

The low point of the trip: the moment in the bowling alley when Kate ran lickety-split down the slippery lane and I froze--luckily Scott's fatherly instincts kicked in and he ran to save her before she got to the pin zone.

The high points of the trip: Spending quality time with Scott's fam, finding out Todd and Cherish are expecting, canoe-ing at Red Canyon Lodge, staying at such a nice hotel, swimming every night, and eating those hot Cinnamon rolls from the continental breakfast every morning, and celebrating my eighth anniversary with Scott.

The After Picture-Almost

Here's our house with new vinyl siding, painted eaves, new rain gutters, and a new and taller garage door.

I never thought we would ever get rid of that baby-poo orange paint we had on our house the last two-and-a-half years. This may still look like an old house to bystanders but it feels more like it should've looked all along. More importantly, our house fits in with the neighborhood finally and it will require less maintenance.

Now for the hard part. We installed all the basics. Now it's time to add some personality. I was considering taking off the storm door and installing a wood-looking door with dark stain and three square windows at the top of the door. We definitely plan on buying a house number plaque to go near the door. Scott and I are still debating on the shutters. If you have any suggestions, I'll take them. If we did install shutters, they would be for the two bedroom windows only.

I've heard some vote for black or brown shutters. I've heard others say white. I've also received reccommendations on no shutters. If you have any ideas on how we can add a small dose of personality to the house, let me know.

P.S. the before picture, in case you were lucky enough to have never seen it in it's previous condition.

My Best Fwend (Friend)

Kate is in love with everything these days. She prays for her toys and exclaims what a nice day it is. In the picture above she is embracing her Bear, Puppy, and Lamby.

Kate is always talking about who her best "fwends" are. Often, Kate will take Scott or me by the hand and say, "You're my best fwend."

Getting Kate ready for bed and setting all her special "fwends" around her is a treat. Horton takes his place above her head on her right, Turtle to Horton's left and then Kate will hold puppy with "other puppy" and "wammy" to her sides. Then, her playmate of the day, usually a figurine like "pink sleeping beauty" and "blue sleeping beauty" as the case was with this night, will take the cherished spot in her hand(s). Of course they all shuffle around in sleep but I love that moment when all you can see is her sweet little face popping out from among her many stuffed friends.

Scott and I love the little conversations we have with Kate. We always end up laughing and wondering what we ever did for fun without her.

Mural

Last night, my sister, Jill, and I put the finishing touches on our first commissioned mural. It was my job but I was scared to death to go it alone. I hope the three-year-old boy we painted it for keeps loving it as much as he did when we showed it to him.

I painted a street-post on another wall to adhere two Disney Cars posters on to make it look like a street sign advertising the race. I'm not sure how it translates, but that was what I intended.