Bon Fire for My Old Flames

This might shock some but, until three days ago, I still had a somewhat large collection of old love letters from boyfriends past. I would take out the box every couple years - about the time that I retried on my wedding dress to ensure that I haven't completely let myself go - and reread some of the letters. In this moment of reverie, I could once again relive those years before Scott and I were married and think with fondness of the kind boys who showed me I was worthy of being loved.
On Monday, I read a snippet from a Feng Shui Book that had lots of really good tips on organization and ideas to help ch'i flow through your home easier. One of the things the mentioned was that keeping old love letters can prevent new love from filling your whole heart. Holding on to anything that reminds you of the past is just plain bad ch'i. I realize that now. I have been holding on to my box of letters mainly out of fear - I was afraid that no one could ever love me that well and that no one could ever say sweeter things to me.
What added to my need to hoard these pieces of paper was my mom who always recommended I keep them. I think she wished she had kept all of her old love letters from her main flame during her late teens and she always reminded me to hold on to them. She said that even if I didn't want them, my children someday would get a kick out of them. And I bought into that for all these years. But, after reading that piece of the Feng Shui Book, I spoke to my wise friend who helped me see that my dear Kate will want to see the love letters between her parents, not old flames. My old love letters would only show her that I never really loved her dad fully. And we have a substantial collection of well-worded, loving cards and notes from our many years together and they are collected in a binder as well as a journal so when I want to reminisce with fondness on my past love, I can begin and end there, in those two books, full of the love I enjoy right now.

So, I lovingly opened the black, photo box of letters and cards and touched a few of them for the last time. I saw the names of the several authors and said a prayer of gratitude for God sending those good boys into my life. And after I thanked Him, I told Him that I was ready to let them go and give my whole self to my husband. I first tried a small bonfire in a #10 can as a royal Bon Voyage but the flames were too big and the smoke overwhelmed the kitchen - HA! So, I placed the unlit pile in the recycling bin and said farewell. I think recycling has a more positive connotation than burning anyway.
And when I called my mom that day to tell her that I had finally let them all go, she said, "Are you sure you don't want to store them at my house, just in case?" Too late mom - they are already gone.