Thinking of A Baby

Today, for some unknown reason I have this intense longing for another baby. I guess it could've been the three episodes of I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant that I watched while I worked on an art project... oops. But I don't want another family's baby to borrow or babysit, I want our own baby. I haven't felt this way for quite a while. All day the desire has nagged me. I even talked to God about it, said a few prayers of, "Oh, please, couldn't you just..."  I know the feeling will pass again soon. But while it's here, I am reminded of Kate as a little baby. How perfect she was. What a dear, sweet, precious infant came into our home. What a fun, spirited, beautiful girl she is now. Six years. Like a lifetime already. I'm still just over here counting more blessings...

I don't know if it's possible because I don't know exactly how these things work, and I know it's really silly, but I've always thought my Grandpa Peterson sent us Kate. When Scott and I went to visit him to say goodbye just before he died, I remember the unspoken words that I said only in my mind. I begged him to send me a baby when he made it to heaven. Remarkably, within a few weeks of his death, we found out we were expecting. Only God knows how these things work out. But just in case he really did help out a little... Thank you, Grandpa Peterson.

Maybe when Grandpa Houtz was dying, I should've asked him for one more. I was too overwhelmed with love as I heard him tell us how he loved us all "so much, so much, so much." I didn't even think to ask.