Kate's Preschool Program

Here's Kate doing the actions for "I'm a Little Teapot"And "There's a Great Big Turkey on my Grandpa's Farm" Song

Here's Kate with Keldon (Her "boyfriend")

Kate and Aunt Jeni (Jeni took a couple days off work before the Thanksgiving holiday so she was able to come to the program) Thanks for coming Aunt Jeni!

Scott was able to come too and Kate just beamed to have a few people in her corner cheering her on. I love Kate going to preschool. What a fun stage! She comes home with all sorts of new stuff in her head and I love to watch her use it.

Pink Christmas Tree

I started Kate's Christmas celebrations with an 18 inch, pink, decorative Christmas Tree for her bedroom. We decorated it with a few ornaments.
Do you love it?

The Big Red Shirt & a Few Other Updates

Scott and I had a little romantic getaway this weekend. Scott brought me flowers even. We went to Providence Inn, a quaint little B&B near Logan. My Mom & Dad watched Kate. I missed home and Kate so much. I could barely sleep. Scott laughed when I told him at 10:00 am that I was ready to go home. He decided we need to get away more. But what a great weekend it was! Kate had fun in her favorite shirt. Kate likes to pick out Scott's clothes for him when he is heading to the shower after work and she always picks this shirt and if he puts it on when she hasn't helped him pick out his clothes she is so surprised and chirps, "Daddy you're wearing my favorite shirt!"

Kate LOVES her Da-da. She races for the door after Scott's lunch break and begs three or four hugs and kisses. After four hugs, he'll close the door and head to his van and she will cry, real tears even, that she wanted "One more hug!" And I will race out the door with her so she can grab that one last hug from her Da-da. I love to see her little hands curled around Scott's. Even though she is getting bigger, Scott is still monster-huge to her. He's her very own giant.

I enjoyed hosting Jill and yet another new boyfriend. He came with his two adorable little boys (5 and 3). I have absolutely nothing negative to say about him. I can't imagine anyone better suited for Jill. Chris and Michelle haven't met him yet but everyone else in the family thinks he is pretty perfect for Jill. And she is all but taken by him. I'm not saying anything is for sure. They've dated three weeks so far and anything is possible at this point but the good news of it all is that we have learned it is possible to please Jill and have the majority of the family pleased with the match as well-a very important development.

I'm really enjoying my Jane Austen Book Club. So far we've read and discussed Northanger Abbey and Pride and Prejudice. Right now we are reading Mansfield Park. If anyone is interested, we have an opening in the club. I kicked my sister out-a touch of mercy on my part, to be sure. Even though she didn't say it, she is grateful, I promise. With only four people in the club and six intended, we would enjoy a couple more. But if not, no bother, even if it's a club of one, I'm going to read these books regardless-they are some of my favorites.

I'm no good at facebook these days. I never know what to say. If anyone has any good methods of making facebook work for them, do pass them on. I'm at a loss.

Kate Pledges "Ah-wee-gence"...

Happy Veterans Day Everyone!

Halloween and A Little More

A few pictures from October 24 - November 10:

Kate and me at the Pumpkin Patch wandering the hay maze. She hugs! But not for long...
Scott and Kate - I love this patch in Farmington. It feels like we're in the middle of nowhere!

Here are the three pumpkins we selected!

But Kate's still my favorite little pumpkin-her cheeks are so squeezy.

We had a Halloween movie night with Bret, our neighbor and we watched Young Frankenstein. Bret agreed to bring the dessert, homemade brownie cheesecake-YUM! I had to get a photo of the delicious masterpiece and its creator. Thanks Bret!

We did a family record-breaking journey on Halloween. We visited all of our living Grandparents (my one Grandmother on my Dad's side, Scott's one Grandpa on his Mom's side, and his one Grandma on his Dad's side). Then we stopped at Scott's parents house and then we stayed for dinner at my parent's house. We only went to about eight houses for actual trick-or-treating and only two of the houses were in our neighborhood. However, all the family visiting made the holiday much more meaningful for us and we really don't need the candy. We left two heaping candy bowls unattended on our front porch so we could escape doorbell duty for the night. I missed seeing the trick-or-treaters. I feel like I cheated them. We'll have to figure out a way to make next year fulfill both our need for visiting and being a family and my need to make sure the trick-or-treaters are covered.

Kate at Grandma & Grandpa B's.

Jeni and Michelle were the only women who participated with the dressing up on my side of the family. Jill, my mom, and I didn't represent. Here's Michelle & Presley.

The cousins: Brooke (Queen Amidala), Taylor (Butterfly), Kate (wicked witch), James (Ninja), Presley (witch-not as wicked), Sam (a spelling Bee).

My crazy brother, Chris. He always surprises us on Halloween. We should've measured this Afro of his. What do you think, three feet? Jill is just Jill - I think? Maybe she was New York Chic or something. I'll have to ask.

I recently experimented with Kate's hair using a curling iron and then again with these curlers. I can't figure out how mom's do girl's hair. I think I need to use more product because no matter what I do to her hair it looks flat or wavy an hour later. Sam pointed out some of the reasons my attempts have failed so I'll try to work on it some more.

The other day Kate just fell asleep during her movie time after we ran errands. She slept in the chair like this for at least 20 minutes. She left a fairly good sized drool spot and everything. So cute. I love when sleep just overcomes a kid at random.

Phew! I Survived - Thanks for Pulling Me Out!

I didn't think I would even survive the day but somewhere around 3:00 pm I was magically transformed. POOF! From that moment on, the rest of the day combined to pull me out of my hole. What a gift. I can't say how much it helps to have people around me who know just what to say. The comments I received from my last post removed the sting and gave me courage to talk to several other moms since, without feeling the earlier shame.

It's all really silly now, when I think about how upsetting that was. I can remember a moment when Kate saw me crying and said, "Mommy, now we're both crying." I love having such a sweet girl who expresses herself so well. I think the magic poof was Kate asking me, "Are you sorry now, Mommy?" I was. I always ask her if she can forgive me when I mess up and I love that instead of saying , "Yeah, sure." She says, "Yes, Mommy, I forgive you. I love you, Mommy." With hugs that follow.

I can't think of a thing in the world as delicious as the words, "I forgive you" and "I love you." I would almost go through an emotionally horrible day like that again (I'm sure I will) just for the comfort of knowing that even in my darkest moments, my family will forgive me and love me again.

Sorry - The Rant Continues

I really had planned to post something uplifting. Something with a lot of pictures and few words. Maybe even some cute halloween something or other. I'm sorry to say, I don't have it in me. If I could pull it off, I would, believe me. But I am just so ashamed of myself. I'm angry even! I wish I could run away.

I can't believe I have allowed myself to become so selfish. I have put my passion for my projects above my little girl and I'm sick about it. How could I do this? How do I get back to where I should be?

Kate refused to go to preschool today. I had plans. I was going to go for a brisk walk to help win the war of fitting in my clothes and because I really am grouchy if I don't do something active at least for 30 minutes. After that, I was going to continue my work on Scott's Grandma's scrapbook and blurb book. I really want to get that done so I can start on my other Grandma's book to give to my mom for Christmas. If I had any time after that I was going to work on the collage that my neighbor commissioned me to do-already 1/3 complete.

With Kate's refusal to go to preschool I actually cried! I shed tears because her staying home meant I couldn't do anything I wanted to do! What a horrible mother I have become! I am so ashamed. Well, what's worse is I actually put her in bed for a nap thinking it would give me that time I wanted so desperately--She isn't actually going to sleep--it's really just buying me fifteen quiet minutes. But now all I can do is cry and I don't even have any joy left to do any of the things I wanted to do. And now I'm just blubbering on and I don't love that! I don't even deserve to be a mother!

Oh, look, here she is right now. Grinning at me. What am I going to do with her for five or six more hours until Scott can come and rescue me? And to think I only have one! No, it's because I have only one-that is the whole problem. If I had three or so, I wouldn't have any "me" time and I wouldn't even start projects.

Please forgive me for being such a horrible person. I don't even deserve to have a friend in the world.